How To Survive Major Life Changes Together - NATIONAL TRUMPET


Saturday, April 16, 2011

How To Survive Major Life Changes Together

It's a tough economy. People are losing their jobs, their homes, and along with it...hope and pride. In order for a relationship to endure despite the strife these scenarios create, it takes some extra effort. Unfortunately, I know this first hand. You aren't alone. And if you follow these tips, you won't have to lose your partner, too.

1. Don't stop talking to each other. It's so easy to clam up when times are tough. It's so easy to try to keep things to yourself to keep the peace or because you fear that you'll be a burden. Silence creates isolation. Even if you just need to vent, do it. I remind my fiancé that I need to hear him, even when he thinks he has nothing to say. I share even my bad days, warning him in advance that I don't expect a solution, just because I need to share. Communication is a much-needed bond during tough times.

2. Build each other up. In the tough times, it's easy to try to lay blame. Blaming is counter-productive. Instead, work on making each other feel better. I remind my man all the time that it's the economy and not a reflection of his ability that keeps him from being consistently employed in his field. He knows it's true, but it means more coming from me. One of the keys to a solid relationship is supporting each other.

3. Be super understanding. Not everyone responds the same way to stress. And when tempers flare, it is important to see beyond the incident to the heart of the matter. After practice, I can now recognize that the cause of his stress isn't always me. Now because of the many months of practice, he is able to later communicate and reassure me that the stressor really isn't me, either. Give it time and patience.

4. Be a team. A relationship is about teamwork and a partnership. It's about two people working together to build a life. No matter what is happening, remember to work together in every situation you can. I reworked his resume. I taught him how to cut and paste it into an email. We discuss constantly the next step, our plan B, even our plan C. No matter what, we're sticking it out and working together.

Life is tough. There are constant road blocks and obstacles to come. If you can find someone who loves you, that you love in return, don't let temporary set backs be the end of a beautiful life together. Work together and get through anything.

All the way to your SUCCESS

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