BUILDING A HAPPY MARRIAGE

• Each partner in the marriage must accept responsibility for the success of partnership. Here are some pointers that will help.

• Whether married or not, let us think about these five points as guides which will open the way to richer, fuller living

A.         HAVE GOOD MANNERS

            How important it is to have good manners in the home – to remember to be kind, to be thoughtful, to be considerate. How much it means for the man of the house to remember to speak softly – to be kind to his children and to his wife as he is in a business conference with people who might be able to do him some financial good. Sometimes we put on our best manners when we are out in public and take them off when we come home. Many times strangers see a better part of ourselves than our intimates do.

Let us try today to have really good manners in our homes. Could we say “please” and “thank you” a little more often? Could we say, “What do you think about it?” or “That’s an interesting point of view.” Let’s really listen to each member of our family even though the person is close to us and we think we are very familiar with his point of view. We may be surprise sometimes at the fresh viewpoint we get.

There are many simple little courtesies that make for good family living. It is a simple little thing for good family living. It is a simple little thing for the husband to pull the chair out from the table and seat his wife; a simple little thing to listen to the young people around the table as they express their ideas. How much better it is for the husband to open the car door and see that his wife is safely inside, instead of honking the horn and yelling, “Get a move on, will you? How long are you going to be?” by the same token, it is a wise wife who is as careful not to keep her husband waiting unnecessarily as she would not if a good friend were waiting. All of these little things are important, because good manners help to make good marriages and good marriages make life very good indeed.

B.         TALK THINGS OVER

It has been said by those who have studied marital problems that part of the trouble with marriages that go wrong is that the partners have not established a proper basis for communication. They don’t talk things over with each other. When they do not do this, how are they to know what each thinks, what each feels?

Let us start a plan right now. Suppose you and your husband or wife sit down at the breakfast table together every morning and talk things over. Plan the day. Get interested in each other all over again. Ask some questions that will show that you respect the other’s point of view. Discuss those cherished plans. Are you going to buy a new car? Are you looking for a new home? Are you going to buy Junior a new suit? What about the party coming up this Saturday night? How about going to Church together this Sunday? Talk over all of these things because they are important. They are part of the living, vital relationship which goes to make up a marriage.

Then we find little faults in each other occupationally, don’t we? We disagree with the way the other person thinks or the way he speaks or what he does. These difficulties can often be overcome if we simply sit down and talk them over. Bring them into the open, not to nag about, but to resolve. When we express our feelings honestly and sincerely, then we are free inside and the misunderstanding doesn’t rankle. It doesn’t fester there to cause trouble later.

If there are real arguments or quarrels – and these things do rise – we need to learn how to handle them constructively. Our difficulties diminish if we learn to talk them over objectively. Concentrate on the solution to the problem, not on personalities. If you have felt resentment in the past, transform it into forgiveness and love. In your imagination relive the situation in love. If resentment occurs now, sit right down and talk it over. The end of the day is a good time to do this perhaps you will choose the quiet period in time of reflection – many times into actual prayer.

To have this mutual trust, to talk over a difficulty, to see what your partner thinks about it – this is a wonderful husband - wife relationship.

Try it!

C.         MAINTAIN ORDER AND BEAUTY IN THE HOME

It is said that order is heaven’s first law. It is good to have in the home: everything in its right place, a certain schedule as to when things are to be done. When are you to have breakfast? When are you to have diner? When is Junior to do certain things? These arrangements should not be inflexible, but they should set up order so that people know what to expect. Discipline is important. Children respect discipline. They need it and they love it.

Then a sense of beauty in the home is important: good music, good books, good pictures, good furnishings, but most important of all is the beauty that comes from the human soul – the love and the beauty that ray out from within as we share the good things of life with each other.

D.        EXPRESS LOVE AND RESPECT FOR EACH OTHER

Always express love and respect for each other in marriage. It takes such a little time and so little effort to say, “I love you.” Express appreciation. Show mutual respect. Sometimes we wonder why we forget it. Perhaps in marriage there may be a certain disregard for the other person’s rights and opinions when we start to take them for granted. Let’s not let this happen. Let’s be good friends as well as sweethearts. Let us keep this expression of love and respect always in our hearts, in our words, in our voices, and in our actions. This is one of the pillars of a happy marriage.

E.         PRAY TOGETHER

Probably the most important step of all is to PRAY TOGETHER. “The family that prays together stays together.” All of us partners in marriage need to remember the nearer we keep to God, the nearer we draw to each other. When we cannot solve the many problems that arise – and who can? – we take them to the Infinite Healing Presence in prayer. And what is more important than coming to God with prayer, not only when we are in trouble but when we plan our work each day. We call this praying ahead as we think of the day’s activities and register them in Divine Mind. We call it also a sharing prayer, as we get our minds in order with a simple, quiet family prayer together in the morning.

Quietly now we think of these things as we prepare for our meditation.

MEDITATION

We give thanks for this day. We give thanks for the beauty, the love, and joy of it. We give thanks for the peace that passes all understanding, that flows through our hearts and minds today. We are in order today. We have an inner discipline and an inner balance which flow out into our lives. This harmony is expressed in our outer experiences. Our every action is filled with meaning and beauty all day long. And so it is.

Everything To Succeed....... "In Your Home.."